Go with the Flow- Managing your Child’s Emotions
- 3m guru
- Jan 12, 2021
- 0 comment(s)
When you are saving a friend from drowning in a flowing river, common sense will teach you to gradually drift sideways to the bank with the flow of water. When you try to pull your friend against the flow of water, you are fighting against the odds. The overpowering might of the flow will, in all probability, consume both of you.
It’s somewhat similar dealing with a child’s emotions. To make her understand your point of view, you must drag her from the turmoil, with the flow, to the banks of logic.
A child who is terribly upset or uncontrollably angry will find it difficult to understand the logic you are trying to stuff inside her head. It’s not her fault. The flow of emotions will be so strong during these times that logic and reason will be swept away like twigs in a flood. If you keep persisting on your quest to change her state with reason and logic, and prove to her why she is wrong, your arguments will end up going nowhere. You’ll end up being swept away by the same emotions that had consumed her.
Emotions like anger, frustrations and disappointments are highly contagious and catch up with people around us easily. Reasons and emotions don’t go well together. Most often than not emotions win. After all man is an emotional animal.
A better alternative would have been to hear her out completely so that there is an outlet for pent up emotions. Once that is done, acknowledging what she is undergoing by restating her arguments with statements like “Yeah, I could understand how hard it is for you not being at the birthday party of your best friend…” or “I could feel the pain you are feeling now. I felt the same way when I was small and was not allowed to…” will be prudent alternatives.
Connecting to their emotions like this ensures that both of you are now travelling in the same direction. Now will be the right time to graft them into thinking about alternatives. Statements like “But later I understood that it would be impossible to had gone to a birthday with exams around the corner” or “You know what, I had a great time the next week, when I visited them, and it ended up much better…” or “How about asking daddy that we visit them the coming weekend, don’t you think it will be great if he agrees?” will have her thinking, which would have been impossible earlier.
Now you have already become one among her clan and she believes you that you are on her side; you can be counted upon and can be trusted. When you have smoothed her to the stability of the banks, away from the turbulence of overpowering emotions, logic and reason have the odds to survive. That’s when you can have your way. Happy parenting!